Madam Hadijah, 76,

Married without children
A homebound stroke patient with vascular dementia.

At 84, Encik Ali, a former driver with gentle manners and a shy retiring smile, would have loved the company of his many grandchildren from the four children of his first marriage.

Instead, he became a full-time care giver and “nurse” to his 76-year old wife, Madam Hadijah whom he married after his first wife passed away. A stroke about two and a half years ago left Madam Hadijah paralysed on the right side of her body.

The couple get by frugally every month with S$150, a cash assistance from IDAPE (Interim Disability Assistance Programme for the Elderly), and food rations from a nearby mosque. His daughter who has migrated to Colorado after her marriage to an American, helps out by paying the rental of the couple’s two-room rental flat. They are not eligible for Public Assistance because they have children.

Ask Encik Ali about getting more financial support from his children, he said, without a trace of resentment in his voice: “They have trouble taking care of themselves. How can they take care of us?” One son who suffers from kidney failure is cash-strapped, and his other two sons, contribute but sporadically.

Madam Hadijah’s life story

Madam Hadijah sits quietly in her wheelchair under Encik Ali’s watchful eyes, in a small living room filled with religious artifacts: a large carpet painting of Mecca beckons from one wall, portraits of their grandchildren on another, and dark green prayer scrolls in jawi fill up the rest of the empty walls. Madam Hadijah had once led an active life, as a nanny for a German expatriate family for over 20 years. When her expatriate boss left Singapore, she worked another 15 years as a cleaner at the Singapore General Hospital. But a sudden stroke confined her at home.

Signs of early dementia are showing but Encik Ali shrugs it off nonchalantly, “she is losing her memory. That’s her fate. As long as God looks after me, I can look after her. I never think about the future. I take each day at a time.”

Daily devotion

Every morning after prayers in a nearby mosque, he will wheel his wife to the bathroom for a shower. He helps her change to a new set of clothes and prepares her favourite nestum drink. She will then spend the rest of the day in her wheelchair, listening to the radio or watching television unless she has to go to the Apex Day Centre for day rehabilitation.

Working with caregiver

Madam Hadijah was referred to the Hua Mei Mobile Clinic after a month’s stay at a community hospital for stroke rehabilitation. Following a full assessment by the Hua Mei home care team, the team taught Encik Ali proper caregiving skills. Improper care can result in complications such as pressure sores, muscular contractions, constipation, urinary tract infections, etc. Encik Ali was also taught how to minister her medications correctly. All aspects of care are monitored by monthly nurse visits. A doctor visits every three months, and a social worker, every two months.

Mdm Hadijah was also referred to appropriate community-based services such as the Apex Day Rehabilitation Centre for maintenance rehabilitation. Twice a week, Madam Hadijah travels in an ambulance to the Apex Day Rehabilitation Centre. Her transportation expenses are subsidized by the Central Development Council. The social worker also contacted Encik Ali’s two other children and after a few discussions, they agreed to resume monthly contributions, totalling $100.

Despite having very little to live on, Encik Ali never complained or blamed his children. Hua Mei Senior Social Worker Gerald Worker was impressed by his unfailing devotion to his wife, and commitment to care despite his advanced age:

“What’s amazing is that even when he’s stressed, he still shows a loving attitude, commitment and dedication to providing care for his wife. It is so easy to opt out and send your loved ones to a nursing home but he is determined to continue taking care of her as long as he can”
– Senior Social Worker Gerald Koh

With his meticulous care and Hua Mei home care support, Madam Hadijah’s medical condition has remained relatively stable. Madam Hadijah never suffered from a single pressure sore.

Future Concern

Encik Ali’s advancing age is a cause of concern.

Although he appears healthy at 84, any sudden illness will impact seriously on his caregiving ability.

A recent cataract operation had enforced some rest for him. The Hua Mei home care team arranged for Madam Hadijah to be admitted to a community hospital for two weeks to enable Encik Ali to recuperate fully. But as soon as he recovered after one week, he brought his wife home, and immediately resumed his care giving duties.

“I like the care provided by Hua Mei Mobile Clinic. The doctors, nurses and social workers are always so polite. They treat us very well and are very patient”– Encik Ali, 84

Hua Mei’s Commitment to Madam Hadijah Madam Hadijah has been a Hua Mei Mobile Clinic patient since Nov 2002. The clinic’s home care team has provided Madam Hadijah the following care: • Teaching her husband essential caregiving skills • Controlling her medical condition with effective and regular medication • Providing free monthly medication (S$60 a month or S$720 a year) • Providing free protein supplementary feed and vitamins • Monitoring her medical condition through regular visits by a nurse, doctor and social worker • Connecting her with free community services, e.g. the Apex Day Rehabilitation Centre.

Your contribution will go towards supporting the home care services

which

Madam Hadijah

needs.

<<back